“Before marriage, I had a conflict with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law” : Chinese marriage is too difficult to be happy
I still remember a line from the movie “The World’s Greatest Father” : I used to think the worst thing in the world was to die alone.However, this is not the case.The worst thing is to die with someone who is out of character.The same is true of marriage.Being married to the wrong person is no different from being lonely.As a result, we all pursue marital happiness, but we forget the most crucial point: marital happiness does not depend on our own efforts, and its happiness often depends on the willingness of the person you choose to work with.Some people say that marriage in China is too difficult to be happy.Because this isn’t just about two people.A lot of times during the run-in period, a lot of trivia happens, which tests the relationship.The biggest feature of Chinese marriage is that there must be problems in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.The happiness index of most families drops sharply due to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.No matter how much a woman fights with her mother, even if she breaks her head, she will forgive you in a few days.But not my mother-in-law.Once you are unhappy, she will become a thorn in your bones.How many people hesitate to get married because they are afraid of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?They are worried.Because everyone is worried that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will affect their marriage, prudent people choose to wait and see.This mentality also reflects why marriage rates are declining year after year, but worrying about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law rather than getting married is a bit like giving up food for fear of choking.What we need to do is to understand the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, think about how to solve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, fundamentally solve the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.Recently, Xiao Li met a man who is about to get married with him, but a very helpless thing happened during which she had to postpone her wedding.Not only that, but she was very worried about whether the marriage should continue.It was her future mother-in-law and sister who made Xiao Li despair of marriage.Before my marriage, I had a conflict with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law.If you get married now, how will you live in the future?I believe many women will be as worried as Xiao Li, feeling anxious and even afraid that the discord between daughter-in-law and sister-in-law will affect the marriage, afraid to get married.After all, the relationship is difficult to resolve.Xiao Li, 27, has been in love with her boyfriend Hao for nearly two years.Their relationship had always been good, so they decided to get married.In fact, it took Xiao Li a long time to decide to get married, because she really couldn’t give up this relationship with her boyfriend, but she still had a lot of worries in her mind.O Hao’s contribution let her out of the predicament, bravely accepted o Hao’s advice.Xiao Li is worried because her hometown is a good place and her relationship with her family is more complicated.Ah Ho’s family belongs to a divorced family.After graduating from high school, his parents chose to divorce.He and his sister were raised by their mother, and their father gave them regular monthly alimony.Ah Ho’s mother had a strong personality and it was not easy to raise her two children alone.Therefore, the desire to control the two children is relatively strong.In addition, Oho’s mother prefers her little daughter and often tells Oho to take care of her younger sister at all times.Xiao Li falls in love with Hao, and she also hears some stories about her mother-in-law.For example, when she and Ah Ho go out on dates, sometimes they stay up late.At this time, she will call her to tell Hao to come home as soon as possible.There are a lot of things like that.Her mother also controls the number of dates between Ah Hao and Xiao Li and gives him reasons to come home to take care of his sister.Xiao Li felt a little sick at that time.Xiao Li’s sister is also a problem.She was adored by her parents at an early age and divorced when she grew up.She is a bit extreme and willful.Under my mother’s love, I ran riot at home.I know my brother is in love with Xiao Li, but she doesn’t care.Always on call.Besides, it’s not polite to Xiao Li.She often calls her by her first name or xiao Li with words like hello and hey.Xiao Li is too young.She has been very patient.His sister is two years younger than Ho.After high school, she stopped studying and stayed out.Talk about boyfriends, fight a lot, and make up.The last two are said to be together and ready to get married.After Xiao Li agreed to Ah Hao’s suggestion, they began to prepare for the wedding.Xiao Li has thought about the wedding for a long time.After all, it’s a big thing in life.She loved wedding dresses, but 1,000 yuan was too much for her in-laws’ family.Xiao Li thought for a long time and finally decided to buy it.After all, she only gets married once and can rent out her wedding dress after she buys it.So Xiao Li used her savings to buy the wedding dress.O Hao also supported her again and again, praising her beauty.Unexpectedly, when the sister-in-law is getting married.And that she must marry her brother on the same day.She said she wanted to get married, too.Xiao Li disagreed at first, but was finally persuaded by her husband.Xiao Li’s wedding date is drawing near.She was nervous and expectant.But a few days before the wedding, something happened.That day, her mother-in-law called her family to discuss the matter.Xiao Li left with a question.When she got home, she saw her sister-in-law there.The mother-in-law took out a wedding dress and asked Xiao Li: What do you think of this wedding dress?Xiao Li did not understand her meaning and could only say perfunctorily: yes.’My daughter rented the dress,’ her mother-in-law continued.She wants to wear it for her wedding.But I don’t think this dress fits her. It fits you.Xiao Li didn’t understand what she meant, so she said, “Auntie, you don’t have to rent my wedding dress.”.I’ve already bought one and my sister has seen it.Her mother-in-law looked at her and said, “I know, but my daughter loves your wedding dress so much that I want you to know that my daughter will wear it when she gets married.”.Xiao Li understood what her mother-in-law meant and was very angry.There is no door, she said bluntly. I bought the clothes with my own money.Why do you mean what you say?Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law heard this and immediately said: Since you married into our family, the future will be a family, my daughter will be your sister-in-law.You and Ho will take care of her.And now you don’t want her to wear it.What does that mean?Facing the aggressive mother-in-law, Xiao Li is not used to, directly answer: that is your daughter, not my daughter.Why should I take care of her?Do you have a thick face?Seeing her future daughter-in-law laughing at herself, the mother-in-law immediately became angry and shouted bluntly: “I’m telling you, this wedding dress must be worn by my daughter. Either you two change it or buy another one!”That’s settled!Xiao Li stood up and shouted, “Don’t give me your AIRS.”.I’m telling you, it’s not gonna happen.If you force me, I won’t get married.So she quarrelled with her mother-in-law and sister-in-law and closed the door angrily.And announced a postponement of the wedding.The incident made Li even more hesitant to marry her mother-in-law.Many times, these problems are caused by the bullying of the mother in law, which is the most difficult relationship to manage.He couldn’t change his mind because of the other party’s bad impression.At this time, mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law should communicate as little as possible, and men should shoulder the responsibility of communication.The most important thing is to reduce the aggravation of conflicts and cultivate the relationship between husband and wife.