Take your date apart: Switch now or keep dating?

2022-06-22 0 By

Bestie’s sister recently in blind date, phase several, are to see one side of the breakup.Bestie and mother worried, looking for me to discuss countermeasures.I said, “Why do you care so much about young people’s affairs? It doesn’t matter whether you get married or not.”My bestie dragged me and said, “Not only are we anxious, but my sister is also anxious. She feels that she is already thirty and wants to find a suitable person to settle down.”So I went to talk to my sister, and found that her idea is also very normal, that her youth is not much, can not afford to spend.So see a feel that does not call quickly change the next one, change dozens of may have a call.I asked her, “Do you know what you want in a guy?Are there any irreplaceable conditions in your heart?”The younger sister wanted to say: “First of all, handsome, of course, not the requirements of the handsome jing tianren, generally handsome, looking comfortable.The second is to be over 178, absolutely not shorter than this, or I will dislike him.The third is to be funny, preferably something that makes me laugh.”Bestie immediately nasty: “you think you are the emperor draft ah, but also one two three, this is no good that no good.”The younger sister did not show weakness: “these three are not to talk about the conditions, otherwise I was married I also not happy, in the mind has been diaphragm.Rather than this, it is better to find a satisfactory in the first place.”I stopped my friend and said, “My sister is right. If you are not satisfied at the beginning, it will be difficult to be happy in the future.”My bestie gave me a white look and said, “You didn’t tell me that at the beginning. You told me that there are so many love at first sight. It takes more than one place to fully understand a person.”I laughed. “It’s different now, and different people have different ways of dealing with it.”Someone like your sister, who knows exactly what she wants, can move on quickly if a date doesn’t meet her expectations.The more people you meet, the more likely you are to meet someone who meets the criteria.There aren’t many handsome, 5 ‘8 “, interesting single guys out there, but there aren’t too many.It’s worth noting that you like this guy, and many girls like this guy, too. What you need to attract your favorite talent is the key.I don’t advise my sister to settle for second best. On the one hand, my sister’s own condition is also good, 165 height, face is acceptable, she likes the boys may be more attractive to her.Of course, the most important or her heart firmly believe that she must be willing to such a boy.Otherwise marriage would be a burden instead of a happiness for her.Everyone pursues love or marriage on the basis of possible happiness.What’s the use of happiness if you can’t foresee it?A cousin of mine had a very interesting blind date before. The matchmaker introduced 20 or 30 girls, but he didn’t like any of them.Firmly request skin white, 90 jin below, height 158 girls.Finally, he found his wife when he met his 36th blind date. Now, after eight years of marriage, he lives happily with a son and a daughter.Say again in those days blind date of the past, he said that he is very stubborn, feel that the girl is his lifelong partner.So cut the tangle, as long as it is not in line with the requirements, quickly into the next round, but also fortunately, quickly find her lover, tie the knot.Our human aesthetic thousands of faces, like each one, his arsenic, your honey.What is good for everyone, what is bad for myself;What seems good to me may seem bad to others.So when you know what you want in your heart, you can feel free to put aside the people who are passing by and go after what’s right in your heart.02 Do not hate can continue to understand sometimes listen to friends around, see a person, not like, but also do not hate, this is can continue to understand.There are too many treasure girls and treasure boys, at first glance, not look good, but the more I know, the more I like, the more I feel that I have picked up treasure.I remember when I first fell in love with my husband, many people said that I was not suitable for him, because I looked gentle and polite, while he looked fierce and overbearing.Who would have known that there was a soft heart under that fierce skin without a thorough understanding?Some people are gold, they shine wherever they go, they are always the most eye-catching objects in the crowd, but they belong to everyone, not to you.Some people are jade stone, precious things are wrapped in the humble stone clothes, the more grinding more bright.Some people are hanshi, plain and unpretentious everywhere, but also dependable everywhere.In life, the prince riding a white horse, driving the auspicious clouds of the fairy are not exist.We are all ordinary people, living our lives in obscurity.Such a public, no outstanding appearance, no extraordinary talent;Such a public, will not let a person heartache, also will not let a person see forget vulgar.However, such people have independent personalities and their joys and sorrows. Only by approaching them can we understand their stories and language.Many people say that love at first sight is just a matter of seeing the eye and thinking the mind. Psychologically speaking, it’s not always true.1) Good looks: There is a positive correlation between love at first sight and attractiveness. We rarely hear of anyone falling in love with an ugly person at first sight.But more importantly, those who are physically attractive also tend to be sociable, outgoing and enthusiastic.This type of person is more likely to spark a crush on a date, creating a truly exciting feeling.2) Deja vu: The gregarious nature of human beings tends to seek out others who are similar to them, so that they feel safe and belong together.It could be a resemblance to yourself, someone you’ve liked, or someone close to you.Be especially wary of relationships with people who have hurt you, but you will still be drawn to others who are similar to them.It’s not really like you, it’s just your familiarity is misleading.3) The people who like you: Everyone wants to be liked and loved.If the person we’re dating shows that he likes us through behavior and words, we can’t help but feel some affection for him or at least a sense of taste.4) Brain misattribution: Psychologist Hatfield points out that any given physiological arousal state can ultimately be attributed to a certain emotion.But which emotion is attributed depends on how you attribute the arousal state.When we are in a dangerous situation, we can’t help but feel our heart beat faster and breathe faster. This kind of physical change is actually independent of our will.When there’s a date around, we might mistake this heart rate increase for being attracted to that person.This is the real reason why heroes always work.So, love at first sight is rare and not always true.The true love you think you meet, sometimes you find another yourself;Sometimes they fall into the trap of intimacy;What is more, they fall into the trap of emotional hunters.A person can disguise once, but not all the time camouflage is very good, this is also in love must get along with more important reasons.For the first time, most people want to show their best side, not deliberately pretend, just pay attention to it.But the more we date, the more we get to know each other, and the more mundane things become exposed.When my husband and I were first in love, he always pretended to be polite for me.More than a few times, I see that he pretended to be very uncomfortable, with him said: “you don’t pretend, you are uncomfortable, I look at also uncomfortable, not as big square, want to be how how.”And sure enough, the way he opened up about himself was a different person, more sincere and lovable.Most of the things in the world are man-made, and most of the things need to be carefully constructed and cared for. Love and marriage are the same.Two people meet for the first time, can only see the superficial level of appearance and talk, even three views are not to understand, let alone touch the soul.So give each other time and opportunity.If he happens to be the one you want, it’s a pity to miss him.Even if he turns out not to be the one, it’s just a waste of time.The subject of love is not like math, there is never a right answer.Sometimes it’s ok to trust your instincts, to trust that there is a divine purpose, that something good will happen to you.Sometimes you have to ruminate, analyze carefully, and then listen to the opinions of those around you and make your own decisions.Sometimes to give up decisively, to let go, to turn around.But what never changes is that you know what you want, and you work hard for it.We don’t have to rush to love, but also don’t easily give up the opportunity;We don’t have to get married, but we can have a happy family.We love ourselves the most, but we also love others.The author | double dragon national psychological consultant, senior aromatic massagist, 10 years experience in aromatherapy, focusing on the health of body and mind balance visitors.